needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
