i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
