There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
