halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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