At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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