any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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