I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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