god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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