I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
