Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
