We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
