How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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