Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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