There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
