At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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