this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
