he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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