I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
