Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
