Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
