Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
