erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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