It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
