Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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