Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
