I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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