the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
