I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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