You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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