11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You just made me feel so damn special
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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