I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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