Having a random hookup so left but love u
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had to cum in my sink.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
