Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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