In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
