C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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