I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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