Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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