The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
