Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
