They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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