Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
