I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
