addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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