why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he thought i was a dude.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
