you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
