It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
