his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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