Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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