belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
