Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
