i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
