I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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