dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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