Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
