My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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