I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
