I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
