peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Pooping to opera.
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