singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You ruined the universe
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize