We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
