We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
