I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
