Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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