Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
